Navigating Expression

W06: Differences in Emotional Expressivity

I have zero poker face. Absolutely none. I literally jump up and down and flail in excitement over things. I did it over buying South Korean albums last month. I did it over my most recent calling as an English Connect specialist last week. I’m constantly moving, singing, dancing, and laughing. My tone of voice and choice of words varies with my emotions, as well. I’m also terrible at hiding my disappointment, though I try not to dwell on disappointing things too much. I also tightly hug people every chance I get, including members of the Stake Presidency. I’m a very expressive person.

Each culture has social norms for public expression.

In America, I get away with my expressiveness because of my size, age, gender, and looks. I’m a 5 foot tall petite female who looks much younger than her age. I get complimented on my “energy” and “enthusiasm” frequently, with actual comments such as “you’re like a cartoon character” or “you’re a little pixie”. My behaviors are largely seen in a positive light.

People would definitely respond differently if I had the build, age, and appearance of my large, scruffy grandfather, though. There would be more negative feedback for the same kinds of actions. He would be considered “weird”, “strange”, or possibly “gay” if he exhibited the same behaviors. People would feel uncomfortable with exuberant displays from a man of his stature. That doesn’t fit in with the general norms in American culture.

Gaps in perception can be even larger when cultures are switched instead of actors. Holding hands used to be seen as highly intimate and something shameful for public in Japan a few decades ago. In South Korea, everyone holds hands, including adult male friends. South Koreans are extremely expressive in their same sex friendships (http://askakorean.blogspot.com/2009/10/i-love-you-man.html). American romantic couples hold hands all the time, but male friends never do. Each of these cultures perceives the physical act of holding hands in different ways and ascribe different meanings to the same act.

As a guide to a new language and culture for my students, I need to help them be aware of such things. We all need to be aware of how we personally interpret things and how the culture we’re learning about interprets them, too. We want to avoid negative labels and misunderstandings. We don’t want our students to wind up in a sexual harassment misunderstanding because they were too expressive in a setting with low expressivity norms like an office or misunderstood friendliness for romantic interest. We also don’t want them perceived as a threat or responding physically to a situation where they feel threatened but aren’t. Forms of expression should be respected; students just need help learning the right times and places for using them in a different cultural environment.